Sunday, September 13, 2009

One Mean Mom


There were two instances this week when I had one of my children pretty ticked off at me.

The first happened a week ago, with Jefferson. We'd gone to LaVerkin for a family dinner, and he was really wanting to stay and have a sleepover with the cousins because the next day was Labor Day. Normally, this would be fine except for a) he had been battling a cold for a few days and b) he'd made a commitment to help someone in the neighborhood early the following morning. Jefferson had some pretty compelling arguments, and was even able to work up a few tears for effect as he pleaded to be allowed to do this. However, I felt he needed a good night's rest to get over his cold - and there was no way that would happen while cavorting with his cousins. I also felt strongly that Jefferson needed to keep his promise to help our neighbor, so I said "no" to the sleepover.

Talk about trauma - he sulked all the way home. I was feeling pretty bad, too. I knew how much spending time with his cousins meant to him and hated to deprive him of the opportunity, yet I felt it was more important for him to get healthy and learn what it means to keep your word. He eventually got over his disappointment - and his cold.

The next experience was with Krissia. She and I had the opportunity to do some modeling for an exclusive store at the mall and were called in for a fitting. As we exited the car, she mentioned that she wanted to get an Orange Julius when we were finished. There was some cash in the car, which she grabbed and put with her phone. During the course of the fitting, Krissia misplaced the money and couldn't find it anywhere. As we were getting ready to leave, she started begging me to use my credit card to buy her the Orange Julius she wanted so badly. Again, I was torn - an Orange Julius sounded pretty good to me, and I could tell by the look on the store clerks' faces that they were thinking 'Come on, it's only a few bucks; just buy her the drink." But what would I be teaching my daughter if I gave in? That it is okay to be careless with your money because Mom or Dad can always bail you out? I told her "no" and was stuck with her complaints for the ride home.

I like to make my kids happy. As a parent, I naturally want what's best for them - but sometimes, that means not giving them what they want. I hate feeling like the "bad guy", but I figure that my greatest responsibility to my children is to stick to my guns when there are life lessons to be learned - even if they cannot see them at the time. It would be great if I could always act like their friend, but they already have plenty of those.....and the buck needs to stop somewhere.

Even if it makes me a mean mom sometimes.

3 comments:

Photo Crazy! said...

Good going mom! It is sometime hard but if it is not you then who?

Herzog Family said...

Great post Kim! I have been in the same situation. You feel terrible but it is not always easy to be a parent.

The Andra Family said...

Jefferson seemed to put on a good front at mom's; he appeared to handle it well to me.