Things Won't Always be this Way

Things won't always be this way.

This has been my motto of late, my battle cry when things spiral out of control. This saying comforted me for the 3 nights last week Mathison didn't sleep a wink due to an outbreak of herpes sores inside his mouth and throat. It echoes inside my head on those days when I am racing from one appointment or activity to another and realize that dinner is also my breakfast for the day. I find myself chanting it over and over when I am wiping/cleaning/picking up my toddler's latest "creation", and I think of it fondly whenever I see my pile of scrapbook supplies staring at me forlornly - waiting for the day when I have just a little extra time.

About a week ago, I was complaining on the phone to my mother about the inability to keep our glass surfaces clean. You might be thinking "big deal", but we have several full length mirrors, glass doors, and windows that Mathison loves to smear his fingerprints all over. I could clean them each several times a day and still only have them stay spotless for the 2 hours he naps. I've settled for once a week. I think I said something to the effect that I can't wait until he outgrows this stage and I can have my house back, but my mother said something that surprised me. Instead of commiserating with or comforting me, she said with longing in her voice, "I miss those days."

What?! I was really surprised at this comment - this was coming from a woman who raised 8 kids and has told me that much of that time was just a blur due to her fatigue. After we hung up, I started thinking about what she'd said. I'd just finished watching General Conference that afternoon, and two talks stood out in my mind: one was Elder Ballard's address to mothers of young children, the other was Sister Susan Tanner's (the outgoing Young Women's President) talk. While short and sweet, there was something in her talk that really struck home. Sister Tanner was talking about how busy life can be when she made this profound statement, "Oftentimes we are so caught up in getting it done, that we fail to enjoy the DOING."

I admit that I'm often guilty of approaching life this way. I tend to be goal-oriented, and feel a certain thrill when I've conquered my latest objective. However, many times I think I've been so focused on the end result that I've failed to fully "live in the moment" and appreciate the experiences and challenges I've had to navigate while in pursuit of my goals - and while raising my children. I love the saying "life is a journey - not a destination - so enjoy the ride." I just fear that too much of my ride so far has been made with the shades drawn over the windows!

As I stumble over the latest pile of shoes and backpacks stacked inside the front door, I catch myself again thinking, 'Things won't always be this way.' But then I look around and see my two older sons wrestling playfully on the floor, my sweet daughter asking me for advice and help with her outfit for the day, and my precious baby looking so angelic in sleep. I'd like to stop and freeze the moment, but time stops for no one. The best I can manage is to stop what I am doing, and enjoy what's happening right NOW.

Because unfortunately, things won't always be this way.